Thursday, March 13, 2014

Peter Pan Figured It Out And So Have I

“Growing up is a trap," snapped Dr. Robbins. "When they tell you to shut up, they mean stop talking. When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. Reach a nice level plateau and settle there, predictable and unchanging, no longer a threat.” 

I have been accused of weaseling my way out of "grown up" life... in my own brilliant way. I don't know what that means.

This is by no means an unusual occurrence. At least once a week somebody tells me that I'm not a "grown up". It hurts. A lot. It implies that these people don't respect me. They don't see me as an equal (which may actually be complimentary). They certainly don't appear to value my life experience and struggles. Worst of all, they seem to want to be the adult to the child they think I am.

Why do so many people tell me that I'm not "grown up"?

Is it because;

  1. I'm a happy, positive, optimistic person? (I am, I took the test.)
  2. I don't have/want kids and am not married in the traditional sense?
  3. My hair is purple and I have tattoos?
  4. Once a month I have Baked Cheetos for breakfast?

Do these few things negate everything that defines me as a responsible and good citizen of the world or at least my neighborhood?

There is far more evidence to show that I do, in fact, suffer from the suckage that comes with being a "grown up", the definition of which continues to elude even my most vigorous of anthropological investigations;

  • I have a mortgage that is paid on time every month. Ditto on the car payment.
  • I have a job that I relish while attending it regularly at least five days a week.
  • I never miss an appointment - as long as it's on my calendar.
  • I run the dog training program at the local prison. Strictly volunteer and from the heart. 
    • The NC Department of Public Safety trusts me!
  • I provide people training for dog owners without a whisper of monetary compensation even if I notice their 60" flat screen TV.
  • I feed my fish daily and sometimes remember to clean the tank if they behave themselves. Ditto on the dogs. Except the tank part, the dogs don't live in a tank.
  • I go to extremes to keep my behaviorally challenged (aggressive, reactive, fearful) dogs safe from the public and vice versa. 
  • I was a CFO for the largest consulting firm in the world for four years. There was math and it was hard. 

What does it mean to be "grown up" anyway? Should I let society define me, should I define myself or do I remain beyond definition? I'm still not sure. Right now I feel happy, my booty is doctor certified healthy and I straight up shit rainbows.